“I want an abortion.”
If your girlfriend has said those words and you want to keep the baby, you may feel as though you have only one conversation to change everything.
But it’s important to know that you do not need the perfect response. What happens next may depend more on whether she feels heard, whether you share your feelings honestly, and whether she can see that you are prepared to take responsibility.
Reach Out Pregnancy Center provides no-cost, confidential services for women and men navigating an unexpected pregnancy. Contact us to learn how we can help you and your girlfriend take the next step. And keep reading for practical steps you can take right now.
Give Yourself a Moment Before Responding
Fear can make a difficult conversation even harder. Before responding, take a moment to steady yourself. Then, share what you are feeling without dismissing what she may be carrying. You might say something like:
“I know this affects you in ways it does not affect me, but this baby matters deeply to me. I want to be involved, and I hope we can take some time to talk about this together.”
A calm response can leave room for both of you to speak honestly.
Ask What Is Behind Her Decision
Sometimes, “I want an abortion” means, “I do not see another way through this.”
Your girlfriend may be concerned about finances, childcare, housing, school, work, or whether she will have dependable help. Ask what feels most difficult right now, and give her space to answer.
You can also explain what your involvement would look like. Perhaps you are prepared to attend appointments, contribute financially, adjust your schedule, learn infant care, or remain involved even if your relationship changes. Specific commitments may help her picture the support available to her.
Take One Step Before Deciding
If the pregnancy has not been clinically confirmed, ask whether she would be willing to visit Reach Out Pregnancy Center with you.
Reach Out provides no-cost pregnancy testing. Following a positive test, she may qualify for a limited ultrasound to learn more about the pregnancy’s gestational age, location, and viability. She may also bring you as her support person if she feels comfortable doing so.
Reach Out’s Dads For Life program offers one-on-one support, fatherhood education, flexible scheduling, and baby supplies.
Let your girlfriend know how you feel, ask what concerns are weighing on her, and talk together about what continuing the pregnancy could look like with practical support in place.
Contact Reach Out Pregnancy Center for no-cost, confidential services.
*Reach Out Pregnancy Center does not provide or refer for abortions.